A moment of self reflection

I recently read an article about our ‘inner-love flow’ which led me to consider how I show up and express my deep affection and fondness for those people I love and who also love me. Those special people who I hold closest to my heart, my dear ones, who I reach out to first when I have something to share or discuss, be it positive or negative. These are the kind, cherished souls I lean on and whose presence bring meaning and value to my life.

I wonder, do I allow myself to express my love, gratitude and affection for them freely, or is it restrained and tucked away behind layers of coolness? Am I hiding behind a pervasive societal veil of casual indifference? Do my people know that they are the sparkle in my eyes? That their existence amplifies my joy and inner shine, and their openness and authenticity inspire me to have the courage to be genuine and stand out in my own goofy and unique ways?

There is a general politeness that is an unspoken code of conduct in most human interactions, the please and thank yous, the excuse mes and sorrys flow so easily with complete strangers. In contrast, if I’m honest, I can be a little harsh at times with my loved ones, and in my most unspectacular moments of egocentric narcissism, I am judgmental and full of expectations. I’m not proud of this, especially when I know in my heart that I truly want to speak soft words, loving, gentle words of acceptance and honour, detailing every single thing that I love most about their unique ways of existing in this world.

I realize that if I am ever to open my heart with vulnerability and honesty towards these most deserving souls in my life, I need to come to a place of forgiveness, kindness, acceptance and love within myself, for all of the ways I show up and the ways I fall short, understanding that I am learning, I am growing and I am determined to do better, for myself and for all those who live in my heart.

the lily and rose

featured image by chang duong/unsplash

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